I thought I would write a letter to you to help guide you in how to apply for a position in my lab. Here are some suggestions for things that really help out - based on real emails I note ...
- Describe your interests by copying text from my web site. This shows that you are not only able to read, but also able to either copy directly or retype what you have read. It is very appealing.
- Get my name or institution wrong in some way. This shows that you are likely being industrious in applying for lots of jobs.
- Include attachments that do not open on Macs. Screw Steve Jobs and all of his fans.
- Send the same email multiple times - once to Prof. Eisen at UC Davis, once to Dr. Eisen at JGI, and once to Prof. Eisen from the "Genome Center at UC Davis." Repetition is an important literary technique.
- Refer to the "reputation" of my group without saying anything specific about what interests you. I love things based on reputation alone.
- Describe your background as very relevant to our work and then say that you too have focused extensively on microarray based studies of gene expression (I love stealing candidates whose original goal was to work in my brother's lab).
- Have no publications but a list of more than 10 as "in preparation".
- Include viruses in attachments - as I am interested in evolution of microbes this is appealing.
- Express an interest in biological weapons and biological defense and be from a terrorism sponsoring country.
- Have the original email message be more than four pages long with dozens of questions for me about my institution and my open positions.
